Hangover, I Want To Kill You


Take a look at this photograph and study it very carefully. No, I didn’t say stare at her sideboob, I said to study the picture. At first glance, you are probably thinking, “Dear God, that girl must have it pretty bad.” I want to agree with you. She has no shirt on, and is passed out on a table in someone’s backyard with beer bottles strewn all about. The sad thing is that I actually envy her at the moment. How could that be, you ask? Because while she is obviously experiencing a serious hangover, at least she is STILL ASLEEP.

I had the pleasure of being woken up today exactly five hours before I actually had to be up. Who is responsible for this crime against humanity? You, hangover. Now I have been around the drinking block a time or two, so I understand how the whole “hangover” thing works. It’s nature’s way of preventing me from spending every waking second at the damn bar. But there is nothing more unfair than being WOKEN UP BY YOUR HANGOVER. What the hell have I done to deserve such an awful fate? I know, that plate of nachos I made when I got home last night didn’t help things, but this just isn’t fair.

I thought we had a deal, alcohol. I enjoy your wonderful libations, and all of the glitz and glamour that go with it, and in return you make me feel a little under the weather after I wake up the next morning. But today, hangover, you have overstepped your boundaries. Despite my best efforts to shut my door, close my blinds, and turn my fan on (i.e. secure the Bat-Cave for optimal sleeping conditions) before I went to bed last night, you still woke me up for no apparent reason before the sun came up today.

Hangover, I want to kill you.



3 responses to “Hangover, I Want To Kill You

  1. Haha…I feel remarkably well considering how much I drank last night.

  2. That’s what happens when you get OLDER.
    Welcome to the rest of your life.

  3. what we need is a fountain of youth that comes in a 12 oz. twist-off bottle. they could call it “Bud Young.”

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